Thursday, December 15, 2011

Daniel...

I still have confusion as to what I am to feed my body. After a weekend getaway indulging in sweets and room service, I have felt yucky for a few days and then last night after a party held at our home, around mid-night I felt like I was going to be sick. Really?, only two small cupcakes, some hummus and veggies, pita chips, chips and salsa and my delicate little system couldn't take it??? I felt a little better this morning and I drank a coconut (yep a real live coconut with a straw), they're packed in my fridge. Still a little shakey, I made two veggie sausages (not a great idea). A bit later, tummy hurting, I went into the fridge and pulled out the giant platter of left over veggies, praying there would still be grape tomatoes, cucumber slices and celery left over. YES!! This is what my body was craving. Now, I am feeling restored. While on our mini-vacation, I would be hungry but nothing sounded good, nothing seemed right, but I would eat and feel full even over-full but never satisfied. I know that nothing in this world can satisfy my soul because I am not from here. As we mature in our Spiritual Understanding do we need less food or different food, until we no longer need it as our Christ body is created and takes over?

I had forgotten to bring a book to the hotel, but then my son Eli reminded me that there's always a book in the drawer of a hotel, so I took it out and started reading Daniel. I don't really know how to interpret what I'm reading yet and I am asking for Understanding of his story, about how he refused to defile himself with the kings delacacies and he looked younger and had more understanding after ten days of only eating vegetables and drinking water. I understand intellectually that nothing in the material world can satisfy my soul and I guess that includes food. Maybe this is another step in my progress. I have been one to indulge in yummy foods and now not only do I not seem to enjoy food, but I'm still at a loss as to what I should be eating. I know this story isn't about food. What am I missing? Is it telling me that I should be living a simpler life? And how do I define simple? I had asked what simple looks like to God and it was more about living a life knowing He would provide and not being attached to stuff, rather than not having stuff. Of course too much stuff can keep us from communing with Him. I need to understand this. For several months I have been venturing into omnivore territory (although no red meat). I have not been feeling well since this dietary change, so that in itself is very telling, but am I only to eat raw cut up veggies, because quite honestly that is all that has appealed to me for several days. Even smoothies seem to turn me off. The only fruits I've desired are clementines, avocado, tomatoes, blueberries, coconuts and bananas. The only veggies that are appetizing to me are cucumbers and celery. Maybe my body needs to cleanse itself from eating animals, an obvious no-no for me at this stage. Grains, tofu, beans, and veggie protein all seem too heavy as well. I feel very light with those few little veggies I had for lunch. I haven't felt light for awhile. Animal is just too heavy for me. Was I defiling my body with the king's delicacies? Maybe I will eat only these veggies for 10 days and see if I have more understanding, as Daniel did. Perhaps I am worshipping a false god (idolatry) and maybe on some level I am still thinking that my health comes from another source other than God, ie; food, medicine, herbs.

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