Friday, January 27, 2012


I can already feel the energy around my marriage shifting. I know my friend is praying for me and I feel God's love in action working in and through us. There is change. I'm starting to feel again. I'm starting to not dwell on the things that bug me about him and more on the the good qualities. We even seem to be communicating better which is amazing in itself. I'm remembering why I fell in love with him in the first place, thinking about our first house together on Velicata Street in Woodland Hills and all the fun we had, just starting out together, without much money but we had each other. I don't want money to change things. I want us to stay the same people, only better able to pay the bills. Money can do that, it can change you if you let it. You have to be awake. We still do a lot of the same dumb silly things we used to and I want to encourage him to come out into the family room and join us like he did before, playing with the dogs and (and kitty), the kids, working on the computer stuff in the main room. I know it's hard for him to concentrate with the boys being older and louder now, but I think we could work it out. They want his attention so badly and sometimes they're like George and they don't care how they get it. As long as they're getting the attention, whether being punished or not, they just want it.

I used to hate how our kitchen was set up, so far away from the living room where all the action was, everyone hanging out, waiting for lunch or dinner, so I got rid of the dining set and made the dining room the "hang-out" room, so now we can all be together. We've got a big comfy couch, the tv and dvd player and I'm in the kitchen not feeling isolated. I love this set up, always have loved houses whose kitchens had a family room connected. This is the first house we've had that even had the possibility. The other two homes had kitchens totally closed off from the rest of the house. I spend a large amount of time in this room and I don't want to be missing out on any of the fun.

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